When you have a GF….

(I have deliberately changed the topic to use the short form GF, since the dumb BITS-server isnt allowing proper access to this page because of the use of the word GIRL)
It has been a while since Pranav and me had sat at Patel statue, I don’t remember why but we had come up with this amazing theory about teenage relationships. :O And the thought of this just comes back to me in this post-Apogee mood, when I am sitting in my room, doing nothing and trying to calculate the rpm of my ceiling fan. That was when I decided to weigh my options on how productively I can spend my time. I can find no other utility currently other than putting this amazing story at the back of my mind on paper.
It all started with me looking around at my friends cuddling up with my other friends for whom I had been not more than the perfect brotherly figure (Yuck!). I have never been so lucky to have had a firsthand understanding of this phenomenon of LOVE (WHAT?), or have I? (Hush….)
Nevertheless, here goes the story of a teenager, one-time footballer, college hunk lost in pigeonated love with that pretty (dumb?) girl who is known for her typical walk when she puts her head into the cell-phone and her fingers into the keypad, almost dead from those innumerable SMS’s. She gives out a vague smile more often than not when she looks at the phone, a mysterious smile, one that speaks more of her happiness for the fact than her guy has shown signs of appreciation for her than of the news of his well-being, sent through the SMS.
The guy, on the other hand is going (typically) through a drastic change in his psyche. At one time he had been walking on the road, care-free, in lose jeans, falling off his buttocks, and pair of smelly socks giving out an odour that would travel a length across half a BITSian wing, shaggy hair, white shirt turned brown from those football marks. Now he walks in a black t-shirt (he can’t change too much, to be able to wash his clothes regularly so soon, so a black one is an escape), with an expensive deodorant all upon him, (a lot of research has gone into that, with trying to get as close to supposed aphrodisiacs with the money that he has) , in tighter jeans, (so that he can feel the vibrations of his universe, the phone, in his left thigh, and long for it), clean shaven, and a typically kiddish haircut.
So here is how it all starts. Guy meets girl, girl and guy talk for a period of a week or two maximum, then exchange phone numbers. Once the phone connection is set up, it all speeds up. Here is a sample series of messages:
Initial stages:
Guy: Hi wassup?
Girl: nm. Just came to my room, had fun with my wing today. Xs Bday treat :) You know Y is a vry nice frnd. U say. Wasup.
Guy:
Failure: nm here, had a great match today, we won 4-2. Screwed em’ ;)
Success: Hey cool. Yeah Y is a very nice girl. :)
Girl: Yes u know …. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…..
Guy: Hmm.. nice ;)
Girl: Chalo, gtg to sleep. Gntc.
Guy: Oh sure cya gn :)
Weeks later,
Girl: Wassup?
Guy: nm. Wait I ll call…..
Girl: cool :)
Trring..
Girl: HII!!
…………………..
…………………
……….
2 hours later
……..
Bbye gn!
Cut..

Stage of Love
Guy: You know I have this thing about you, I really like you….
Girl: Oh. :)
Guy: ??
Girl: ntn :) same here.
SUCCESS!
Guy-girl go out every day, now as a couple, initially to SAC or CNOT, every day.
One fine day,
Girl: (7-pointer) Hey I really suck at Physics and test is coming up. I need help!
Guy: (5-pointer) Hey maybe I can help out. Let’s go to the lib.
……
And now they have diversified their love-spots, taken it to the next level. And over there, step-by-step they go from studying (very short time-span), displaying boredom, going to REDI/IC/SKY, cuddling, kissing :O, stray-hands going places :|, etc. etc.
Next, once they have become consciously aware of their requirements, having successfully communicated them, they move on to Shiv-G, T-Lawns (post 9 pm), etc. On Valentine’s Day, they are for once feeling intimidated by the large number of people with similar intentions crowded in these places, male counterparts silently communicating with each other, issues about territory encroachment, that the issue becomes more complicated than UN problems, is a only a slight over-statement.
One additional fact that can be given is the recent “Student Ram-Sena” attacks on couples in Shiv-G this Valentine’s conducted by a group of brave, visionary (or jealous?) first yearites, that brought out the worst in them.
FINAL PHASE: THE BREAK-UP
SMS: Guy to girl (usual check up SMS)
Hi! Wassup.
Girl: NM
Guy: how ws ur day…
Girl: Good.
Guy senses no smileys, no exclamations :O something wrong.
He calls up girl…
Guy: Hi! How are you?
Girl: I am fine. Hey I have to sleep now. I will call you tomorrow. Good night.
CUT
Guy is screwed up. He has a test tomorrow. Girl is BASICALLY bored of the guy and Charles Darwin couldn’t help him much with the Survival of the Fittest theory, since he only discovered it, much to his dislike. He HAS to get the girl hooked within the next 48 hours or she is history…
Guy wonders, and wonders, girl studies for test, after all, she is a girl, and BASICALLY more intelligent than the guy. And this, actually is just one more reason why BITSian CGPAs are at least showing a downward trend if not a constant one. Guy remains at 5, girl remains at 7, but with a lot less pain and suffering and not as much strategy and planning as the guy has put in to maintain this relationship.
One fine day, guy gets pissed off, simply because of the frustration of output not being even to scale of the input. He screams, shouts, abuses, girl takes it in, (as if she has been waiting for this very moment), she weeps, cries, gets a lot of attention and this, finally completes the BREAK UP.
Now, there are two issues.
As deep as I can delve into the female psyche, it is difficult to say why females can bottle up their problems when they aren’t required and why guys are so dumb to keep drooling on them when the worst of things are on their heads. :O
Secondly,
For those who are thinking about jumping into the weeping girl’s life EXACTLY at the time of the break-up, to bank upon the situation ;) they better get their logistics right. Recent study suggests you might just get hooked up as the Big brother if you enter at the wrong time, and the wrong way. :O
Adios,
This is Tekawade signing off.